Tallahassee
by swanheartthief
Summary: Written for the SwanfireAUFridays challenge on Tumblr. At the end of her two year stay in Tallahassee, Emma finds herself on the beach, contemplating all that's happened and what could have been. But before she can leave to begin a new life elsewhere, she gets a surprise visitor that might just change her mind. Swanfire.


I wrote this a few months back and I only had it published on Tumblr, but someone told me I should put it here too. Was written for the Swanfire AU Fridays challenge on Tumblr for week one. Thanks for reading :)

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It was nearly sunset, sliver of sun disappearing slowly behind the horizon, extinguishing as it was pulled under. The laugh of children and their families vanished with it, bit by bit, while dusk set in. The sounds of it only made her want to scream and was grateful when they began to fade.

Placing a hand over her stomach, Emma felt as if someone had punched her. She knew it wasn't their fault, but she felt as if they were somehow mocking her. This is the life she should've had- that _they_ should've had. Here on the warm beach with the other families and their picnics and pool toys and bright rainbow colored umbrellas. He'd promised her everything and had left her with nothing.

She began to grip at the fabric of her white tank top, gripping harder and harder until she felt her nails dig into her skin above her now empty stomach, though she barely felt it above the rising tears and sharp breaths. She stared out into the open ocean and through the watery blur and she could almost make him out between the shadows and pale gray light. He was there, in a silly pair of Hawaiian swimming boxers, laughing and splashing in the shallow waves next to a smaller, similarly dressed boy. Sweeping the little boy up from the water, he would hold the boy above his head and spin, bringing him down to kiss him on the forehead before holding him steady in his arms as they both waved to look back at mommy. As the sun vanished fully behind horizon, so did they, and she was alone again, the cold, watery breeze biting at her skin. Her son vanished with them, the son she'd been forced to abandon because she'd had no way to take care of a child, much less have the heart to force him to grow up with out a father.

She'd given her son, her beautiful son up for adoption, no more than a few minutes old and already torn away from her. She'd barely gotten to say goodbye. But he'd been whisked away, taken from her by some woman who didn't even bother to come get him herself, as far away from her as possible in Maine. She vaguely wondered if he was alright, if he was happy, if this other woman was taking care of him and giving him all the love in the world.

She promised herself she wouldn't cry. She'd already spent far too much time mourning in that barren jail cell, crying over that worthless bastard who mind as well have left her to die. And yet for all the hatred that ate away at her heart, she knew that something was wrong, that there had to be an explanation somewhere, that the man she fell in love wouldn't do this to her. She knew when people were lying. It was a survival skill she'd developed on the streets. When she'd told him she loved him, he'd said it back, and it was all right there, it was there in his eyes and the way he kissed her and when he held her tightly like he was afraid she'd vanish.

Promise be damned, she let out a sob, wiping angrily at her eyes and punching the sand next to her with the other hand. This was the last time she swore, the last time she would trust, the last time she would love, and it sure as hell would be the last time she'd cry. Pushing the thoughts of him aside, she amended the promise to herself that she would hate him and never let him in again. It was easier to hate him than to torture herself with the what ifs. It was easier, and far safer to be hard than to be naïve. Brushing the panel of gold curls away from her tear stained face, Emma pushed herself off the ground, not bothering to brush the sand away from her jeans. She turned to the ocean one last time, closing her eyes and trying to remember this moment. She'd come to Tallahassee, spent two years here, in hopes he'd come for her, in hopes he'd remember their promise. But he never did.

He wasn't coming for her. Ever.

Turning back towards the parking lot where the yellow bug watched silently, Emma made her way up the sandy hill, the bulge of small boxes containing all the belongings she ever owned peering up from behind the front seats. She was leaving, to heaven only knew where. But there was nothing for her here anymore. Tallahassee was nothing more than a haunted memory, a broken promise. And though she was loathe to admit it, that yellow bug would always be home for her. It wasn't much, just an old, stolen car, but it was home and the time spent within it was the only time in her life she'd been truly happy.

But as she approached the top, she could make out a dark figure leaning next to it, black and yellow blending together, coalescing into a ghost straight from her memory.

"Emma..."

At the mention of her name, she felt the earth move up to greet her, feeling as if her legs were sinking into the sand beneath her. The waves below had somehow made their way up the hill too and threatened to pull her into the undertow.

"Neal...you... what are you..." she breathed, grabbing for the nearest solid object she could find to support herself. She began to panic, her heart at war with itself. She'd tried to put the walls up around her heart, but here he was, he'd caught her and it was like rain on freshly laid cement. The walls didn't stand a chance.

She wanted to throw herself into his arms, to leap so hard they both fell to the ground, and kiss him until she ran out of oxygen. But the shadows of doubt froze her in place, grabbing onto her and chastising her and reminding her of the darkness, of what happened last time she trusted him. She looked up into his eyes, those gorgeous honey over wine eyes that made her stomach tie into knots every time she looked into them. She could see the tears lined on his lashes, a deep sadness and self loathing mixed with salt water. "I'm so... so sorry..."

It was enough. Enough to snap her back to reality and reignite the anger. No longer trying to hold back the tears she flew at him, her hand connecting to his face in a hard slap. His head twisted around, stinging nerves flaring to life where she'd landed. When she flew at him again and began pounding on his chest, he made no effort to stop her until she eventually stopped on her own, clinging onto the front of his hoodie and sobbing into his chest. Letting his own tears fall, he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly, lacing his fingers into her hair and resting his head on hers.

"Why..." she asked, barely above a whisper. "Why did you leave...?"

Inhaling sharply, Neal pulled back from her, bringing his hands to her face and gently brushed away her tears. He could feel her tense beneath his touch, unsure of whether or not she could trust him still. He cursed himself inwardly, berating himself for putting that look in her eyes. He braced himself for what he knew he had to say and knew she wouldn't like it.

_'Now I'm gonna tell you a story. And at the end of it, you're gonna have to make a decision. Will you do the right thing?'_

"I... I can't tell you."

He felt her snap back from him and felt a surge of panic when she began to tear up and back away from him again, and he knew that he was losing her.

_'You keep your promise and steer clear and she can have a good life. She can do what she was meant to.'_

But seeing her now, seeing her front of him, in pain, miserable, broken... the Emma he'd known had been optimistic, so full of light and hope, not this shell of a woman in agony. He'd made her this way, he'd made the only woman he ever loved break and he'd never hated himself more than he did now.

August had told him that this was it, this was the only way she'd fulfill her destiny, this is the only way she'd live a good life and do what she needed. But had it really been the right decision? Was breaking her really the only way? He'd come to make sure that she was okay and to apologize and to at least make things right. No matter what August had said, he owed her that much.

And now that he was here, all he wanted to do was to kiss her and love her and get down on his knees beg her forgiveness.

No, he hadn't made the right choice.

_'Son, sometimes forces beyond our control shape our lives. Fate, destiny, whatever you'd like to call it. Point is, everything happens for a reason.'_

And that's when it finally dawned on him, what the right choice truly was.

Pulling her forward into his embrace, his lips met hers in a feverish kiss, lips and tongues sliding together in a firestorm worthy of his previous name. He could feel her confusion and abhorrence when she tried to pull away, but still he held onto her fiercely, never wanting to let her out of his sight ever again. And when he felt her finally relax, she slid her arms around his neck, the kiss softening into a sweet, loving caress, the roaring flames turning to embers and no less hot. It was everything they'd never said to each other, everything they should've said and nearly lost. It was apologies and sorrow and passion, and to his relief, forgiveness.

When they finally broke apart, breathless and weary, Emma looked up a him, her vivid blue eyes still staring at him with uncertainty. It wouldn't be easy, it wouldn't be a bed of roses, but they were here and they'd take it one step at a time. Neal knew what she would be up against. He'd spent a whole lifetime running from it, but he'd face it. He'd face it for her and he'd face it because of her. He wouldn't have to run anymore, because she was with him and that was all he needed. He'd guide her through it and she'd unknowingly guide him too.

"You still have told me why..." she said quietly.

He smiled warmly at her, pulling her against him, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I know. I'm sorry. Why don't I explain in the car?"

Emma looked up at him questioningly, and it was clear she still didn't quite trust him. And it was okay, he thought, he would just have to rebuild it. "In the car? You mean... together?"

"Yeah," he said with a grin. "Where you headed?"

She couldn't help but to smile back at him. "I have no idea. I was just gonna decide when I got there. I was thinking... Maine."

"Maine? Why Maine? There's nothing there."

"Hey, it still has a beach," she said, with her own devilish grin. He was in for a surprise of his own. "I'll explain in the car."

Climbing into the yellow bug, the pair took their old familiar seats, and it was home. It was their home. And no matter where they ended up, it would always be home.


End file.
